BYOND Key: Korusho Date and Time of Ban: At some point 5-6 months ago Character name at time of banning: Alex Tovarin Name of admin who banned you: Hephesto Jobs you were banned from (if applicable): All Antag roles Reason you were banned: A conglomeration of reasons, most notably for excessive violence during antag roles and just poor decision making Duration of ban: six months Please excuse me if I got the time wrong. It's been a while. I should also state that may last attempt at an appeal for this ban was misguided and.. I really don't know what I was thinking. Sometimes I tend to get fatalistic when I don't feel like I should do things, so perhaps that was influencing my thinking. At this time, I am putting forth this appeal because I am ready to again accept the responsibility of antagonist roles in Bay for a few, good, reasons. One of these reasons, and the primary one, is that I feel that my understanding of the environment in which Bay exists has greatly improved, even more recently (in the past month), as I've finally started to find places in the environment that I truly enjoy, and feel a bit happier RP'ing in Bay now that I've found that little niche for myself. I feel much more invested in the characters my own characters interact with, and have been, at times, caught emotional by specific events that occur in the environment. I can appreciate them to a greater extent and want to contribute in greater manners that enhance that environment, rather than just stir shit just because. A secondary reason is that, while I sometimes still poke at the rule-book for what I see can be an overly harsh rule-set, I have grown to accept it for how it can be used. I still do have disagreements with judgements, and some of the self-perceived effects, but I understand why things are done the way they are done. I've pushed questions towards admins, and tried to understand where they are coming from as I've become more nestled into Bay's happy little community (even if most of us are crazy). I want to be apart of that fully again, and not appealing this ban will leave me feeling like I am not trying my hardest to contribute to the stories that go on around me each round I join in on. I feel that I've grown as a role-player during this ban period. It's benefited me in ways that I didn't understand I needed to experience before it occurred. I still view myself as someone that could write for a living if I could just get off my ass and get around to it, but I was being an overall shitter. I wasn't putting a lot of effort into my character interactions, and having to deal with this has opened my eyes to that. I feel that my interactions, while a bit sparse at times, are more appropriate and believable. As well, I simply care more about those dumb little sprite people we all like playing so much. I want to contribute more in sometimes subtle or nefarious methods. Not too much, mind you, I have actually started enjoying *not* looking for ways to spice things up. Though I have to say, I miss some of the excitement that comes with trying to pull things off covertly. If there is anything I can do to assist myself in showing that I have learned from mistakes to the admin team, I will attempt to do so. I think I've improved, and I know I've learned. If anything needs to be said, or if anyone feels that I'm not ready for the responsibility, I will gladly remain antag banned until such a time that those individuals feel that I'm ready for it.